Upside Down
by TempestJo
Summary: It all starts when Sheldon has a bad week and Penny resets the balance unexpectedly... Smut. If you don't like it, don't read this.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I know I finished the last story off because I was out of time, but of course, now I'm sitting here waiting for people who are late, so had a moment**...**Will update when I can, but it might not be till closer to the New Year, bear with me! :)**

Sheldon stormed into the laundry room, tossing his basket down on the table angrily and began sorting his laundry with jerky movements.

Penny watched from across the small room, from where she sat on top of the machine that was currently cleaning her own laundry. She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head and waited to be noticed.

When he didn't notice her, she kicked the machine below her with her heels.

He gasped and turned, his eyes resting on her accusingly. "I should have known you'd be here."

"Where else would I be? It's saturday, laundry night." She replied, mentally rolling her eyes at the fact that saturday night had become nothing more than laundry night. It wasn't that long ago that saturday night meant mani's and pedi's and too tight dresses and shoes that begged to be noticed and bottles and bottles of booze.

Sheldon sucked in a breath and sighed. "I would prefer to be alone tonight." He muttered.

"Tough." Penny stared at him. "The sign says don't leave your laundry unattended." She gave him one of the looks he usually gave to her. "Can't leave till I'm done."

At her words, Sheldon's shoulders twitched. "Can't ever get done anymore." He muttered to himself, turning back to his machines to carefully measure in laundry detergent and fabric softener.

"Can't get done, or can't get," Her eyes dropped to his pants, "DONE?" She'd known something was up when he had been even more snarky than usual during the week, and the teasing he got from the guys was a little more insinuating than usual. She'd caught Leonard in the hallway briefly when he was heading out this morning and asked him what was up, the mumbled response had sounded suspiciously like 'blue balls'.

Leonard had commented once, a long time ago, that Sheldon was Semi-pro when it came to self satisfaction, at the time Penny's only thought had been along the lines of, oh good, he really IS human.

And much to his dismay, he was. He'd given up on the idea that he was member of some alien race which had left him there to study the earth and its people around the same age as he'd discovered the laws of the universe and the reality of the time constraints of space travel, somewhere around the age of seven. Since then, he'd been merely bearing with the various indignities of the human condition. Like Hormones. And Feelings. And Friends.

But this week had gone badly. Very badly. His schedule had been so messed up it made him nearly hyperventilate to think of it. Logically, he knew that he could set it straight, that come Monday morning, he could easily get back on track, but he knew he would never forget the week that had passed.

The comic book store had been closed due to a family emergency which required Stuart to be out of town.

The electricity had gone out on Halo night.

ART students had stolen all his whiteboards for some ridiculous project downtown, and when he had finally got them back they were dirty and grimy and all his equations were gone.

He had the equations in several other places as well, it was just such an inconvenience to have to write them all out again, AND have the locks changed on his office, AGAIN.

Then the bathroom upstairs had sprung a leak, and Leonard had had to sleep on the floor in his room, which gave him no alone time, which he had come to need more of the longer he knew Penny, and his sister was visiting, which meant he couldn't make Leonard sleep in the living room, and she never let him have more than ten minutes in the bathroom at a time, which was hardly long enough to shower and shave let alone deal with parts of him he'd rather not have most of the time.

The Thai place had been closed due to fire, the store had been out of his favourite spaghetti sauce, and Penny had been at an audition on the night when she was supposed to be serving his hamburger.

The stress was getting to him.

His needs were getting to him.

He had even got to the point where he had considered, briefly, of relieving himself elsewhere, but he had quickly rejected that, he was homo novus, surely he could wait.

So he did.

All week.

And here he was, saturday night, laundry night, strung tighter than a kite string wrapped around an aeroplane, and Penny was sitting there, on the laundry machine, in her short little shorts and her thin little shirt, kicking her heels and asking him something he was sure he shouldn't answer.

"I don't believe that's any of your concern." He finally replied.

She nodded, watching him.

Watching his fingers shake as he shut the last lid, how his eyes had lingered on her legs for just a millisecond longer than normal, how he was pale, but cheeks were flushed, and how he moved like a puppet on a string.

The last time she'd seen him like this, he hadn't slept in three days and was being hauled home from breaking into a ball pit, which was really something when you considered the amount of germs that collected in ball pits.

She had to do something.

Ok, so maybe it was something she kinda had wanted to do for a while anyways, but now seemed like the only time when he might actually...

"Sheldon. Come here." She said in the tone that meant he'd better do it or something terribly bad was going to happen.

His eyes were wide but he went to stand beside her anyways. "Yes Penny?"

She reached over and grabbed him by the waistband of his pants and hauled him closer, so he was standing right in front of the laundry machine, facing her, between her knees.

"Penny?" He squeaked. "What are you doing?"

"I'm helping you." She smiled coyly, her eyes on his as she slid her other hand down the front of his pants.

He sucked in air, and his eyes were huge, but he didn't move.

She wasn't sure if he was frozen or if he was staying put, but he wasn't saying NO, so she kept going. "Put your hands on the washing machine." She whispered, stroking him again.

He was definitely responding, and he obeyed without asking why.

He DID want to ask why. He wanted to ask lots of things, his brain was in an uproar, but his body had firmly shut his mouth, and with every touch his brain got quieter. This was an acceptable solution to his problem, it whispered. If someone came in, they would just see his back, and Penny's legs, and they would leave.

When her hand slid inside his pants, he realized that putting his hands on the top of the washing machine beside her thighs had been a very good thing, as his knees were suddenly quit wobbly.

His eyes closed, and his head was lowered slightly, he was leaning his weight onto his hands as she stroked him, and she could feel herself getting flushed as well.

He was more hung than she had expected, and lately, she had been giving it quite a bit of thought. She moved her hand against him, more, faster, tighter, and soon his head was resting on top of hers, she could feel his breath blowing across her face, his breathing patterns shifting, one of his hands suddenly moved to her thigh, and she knew it was almost over.

She pulled something out of her laundry basket and held it over him, so he wouldn't make a mess, she knew he hated messes.

With each shudder that went through him, his hand gripped her tighter, until he let out a sigh and totally relaxed.

She buckled his pants back up and patted his chest. "Feel better?"

He stared at her, a faraway look in his eyes as he considered it. "Yes." He blinked a few times, standing straight.

"Good." Penny smiled cheerfully, her cheeks bright red.

He stepped away, realizing her washing machine had ceased to make noise, she would need to switch her laundry over. His mind was in a floaty place, and he kind of liked it.

She hopped down and switched her laundry into the basket beside her, everything she had washed needed to be hung to dry, so she wouldn't be using the dryer tonight.

"Night Sheldon." She chirped at him.

He blinked again. "Goodnight Penny."

She was halfway out the door, when he suddenly called her name again.

Glancing back, she met his eyes, and saw a tentative smile on his face. "I believe in common terms, I," he paused, "Owe you one."

She licked her lips unconsciously and nodded. "Sure, Ok." She managed to say before escaping.

Good lord, what had she done?

She'd just given Sheldon a hand job in the laundry room.

And he'd said he would repay the favour.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: At long last! LOL. I hope you all had great holidays, mine was busier than heck, but hopefully this little chapter was worth waiting for! **

CH

Penny had waited.

Waited for a bzinga, or a twitch, or a knock on the door at three in the morning...

After two days of nothing out of the ordinary, not even a flicker of Sheldon's composure, she'd mentally shrugged and assumed he was either not going to pay her back, (which she hadn't expected anyways) or that he was still doing research and would take his sweet time about it.

Either way, she had other things to worry about, like bills, and that audition.

Sheldon had in fact been doing research.

First he'd analyzed his responses, and lack of responses. Then he'd decided on a future course of action, along with a detailed plan of what the desired outcome of this new diversion would be, and a suitable framework of steps to be taken, hypothesis to be come up with, contingency plans should a step fail, or a response not be the one desired. Once his plan was complete, and, he deemed, fool-proof, he merely settled in to wait for the perfect opportunity.

It came, on a Thursday night.

He was waiting at his door when she trudged up the stairs, her work uniform crumpled and stained with something resembling ketchup.

"Hey Sheldon." She sighed, walking past him to her door and fishing out her keys. "Is it anything-can-happen-thursday today?"

"Yes." He replied simply, following her into her apartment. "I took the liberty of ordering us take-out, if that's alright?"

She nodded and motioned for him to shut the door. She'd really been hoping for the night alone, with a good book and maybe an escapade with the shower head, but now that he mentioned food she knew she was hungry, and it HAD become sort of tradition for him to spend those Thursdays with her, because she had no desire to go to bars to pick up women, and when he had mentioned it previously, informed him that showing up with THREE desperate looking guys was a surefire way to not pick up men either.

So anything-can-happen-thursday had become Sheldon and Penny time, as long as Amy or a grad student eager for a title-sharing credit didn't interfere, and Penny liked it. Of course, the continued one on one exposure had lead to the thoughts, and the dreams, and the actions, of what had taken place in the laundry room, though she had to admit she would never had acted so quickly had it not been such a perfect set-up.

Him, already strung out, way out of his comfort zone, and her with the sure-fire remedy...

She smiled at him and hooked a thumb over her shoulder. "You pick the movie I'm going to go shower."

He was already perusing her video collection and barely even nodded.

Just another Thursday night with the robot man.

Dinner was good, the movie was better, she hadn't watched it with Sheldon before because, well, it had a fair amount of R rated action, but he'd picked it out. He'd watched most of it with one eyebrow raised, the sex in public scene had rated two raised eyebrows and a faintly disbelieving sniff.

She had to agree.

Someone in that crowd would have for sure started a fuss instead of just wandering around smiling.

Sheldon watched her as the credits rolled, his mind working. He had chosen this film because she had always passed it over, and the way her colour had deepened in a few places, the aberrations of her breathing pattern had reassured him that his calender had not lied. If he did not act tonight, she would be going out tomorrow night. He pondered for a second waiting for the next night, but reasoned that as she had no room mate she would self-satisfy tonight and thus take the edge off for the next night, and that just wouldn't do.

She stood up abruptly and left the room, heading for the bathroom.

He gave her a minute, and then followed.

When she came out of the bathroom, her face pink from having been scrubbed with cold water, he was leaning against the wall facing her.

She blinked in surprise.

"Penny." He narrowed his eyes. "Come here."

She stepped towards him instinctively, and found herself suddenly with her back to the wall and him in front of her, leaning towards her like she was his whiteboard.

"You seem a little flushed." He whispered, his blue eyes staring into hers knowingly.

"Damn you." She hissed slightly, as she felt one of his fingers trailing on the top of her sweatpants.

His lips quirked, and the finger dipped slightly under the waistband. "Is that a no?"

Her hand seized his shirt in a vice like grip. "Don't you even DARE stop."

So he didn't.

His head came to rest on the wall beside hers, his leg pressed between hers, both spreading her legs slightly and serving as a support. He was determined to do this as she had, with one hand alone, focused on the task. It had left him wanting more, he wanted her to want more as well.

His hand slipped lower, and began to move, and explore, tracing her with the tips of his fingers then delving inside, his thumb finding the spot which all the diagrams had agreed on, the spot labelled as a 'sure-fire' way to make a girl scream.

She didn't scream, but she did make a sort of breathy sound that he found fascinating, so made her do it again.

And again.

When he finally stopped, her eyes were glazed over, and he almost entirely supporting her weight.

Her hand was still clutching his shirt.

Her breathing was heavy.

"Did you google that?" She whispered.

He nodded.

"Wow."

He cleared his throat. "When you make that noise, and inside.." He ventured.

"Yes Sheldon, you know longer owe me one." She half smiled, looking down and noticing that she still had her sweats on and that he had so far not made a move to reach for the disinfectant she was sure he had on him somewhere, though she could see his fingers glistening in the dim light.

When her eyes returned to his, she saw the cat like grin on his face and a tiny line appeared between her eyebrows. "What?"

He stepped away from her and let her slide down the wall a bit till she forced her legs to hold her up. "In that case." He definitely smirked, "I believe you now owe me again. "As you made that noise THREE times."

She managed a half glare as he sauntered out of her room, and then her apartment, before she collapsed on her bed with a smirk of her own, because how could you be mad about getting exactly what you wanted?


	3. Chapter 3

CH

Penny had stewed for days... How to plan this? How to top it? If you'd told her two weeks ago that she would be in some kind of sexual one-upping contest with Sheldon she'd have laughed in your face and privately thought, 'I wish'. Well, now here she was.

Somehow, she was in some sort of twisted, so-far secret relationship with him, a sexual one, and they hadn't even kissed, they hadn't talked about it, there hadn't been any lingering looks or longing sighs or awkward flirtation, or hell, ANY flirtation.

She didn't even know what his DEAL was!

Just because she'd brought him off with her hand, and he'd returned the favour, didn't necessarily mean that he swung that way, or the other way, or any way at all. Sheldon always returned favours. It was a non-optional social convention!

So she'd sat down with a pencil and a piece of paper she'd dug out of an old notebook she'd had forever and tried to figure out what could possibly turn his crank, using the assumption that he did in fact like girls, and that he did in fact like her (possibly a lot to ask, but hey, dream big right?). So far all she'd come up with was things he did that turned HER crank.

Clearly, he liked arguing. He liked being challenged. But for the next escalation in this war, to one up the Three big O's, she was going to have to go on her knees. She was kinda looking forward to it actually, but that wasn't just the kind of thing you could just walk up to someone (Sheldon) and do.

Well, she supposed she could. Just wait till bed time and then slip into his room, put her hand over his mouth and slip beneath the sheets, her hand leading the way and her mouth following and her tongue tasting... But that wouldn't really be right.

No. She wanted, she NEEDED, him to want it. To want her mouth on him, to enjoy it fully. She wanted the power back, that she'd had that night, Sheldon, for once in his life, completely, utterly, in the moment.

How to make him want her?

Skimpy clothes didn't seem to do much for him, she'd been around him in practically nothing and he hadn't batted an eye, though he had peeked that one time. She didn't really think he'd like it if she dressed up as Princess Leia, the colour of her hair being wrong for the role would probably distract him too much, and she hated wigs. She wasn't going to wear her work uniform, though maybe at a later stage in the relationship, she mused silently.

She was sucking on the end of the pencil, the same way she had always done in school, when thinking about something she shouldn't be, that it came to her.

He didn't seem to have a thing for students. But he did like power. He liked to share his knowledge.

She grinned. It was going to have to be some kind of secretary slash sidekick thing. The Rose Tyler to his Doctor. Only in those Denim shorts that he'd seemed to like her in, she hadn't worn them in years but they still fit.

Which would work in nicely with her own little hangups, because she'd always wanted to call him Doctor, and she'd always had a fatal attraction to a deep toned Texan growl, which she just KNEW she could get out of him if she played her cards right. He hadn't lived in Texas for a long time, but it still slipped from time to time, never in the low tone that he was capable of, and she wanted to hear it.

So she waited, until a night (because she was at her best at night) when Leonard was working late and Raj and Howard were out on the prowl.

She waited, dressed in those faded denim shorts, and soft blue button up shirt that covered way more than she usually had covered, but was softer than silk and looked good on her, for the silence to descend in the apartment across the hall, meaning that Sheldon had turned off the tv and was settled in in front of his computer, or better yet in his room.

Then she crossed the hall and slipped in the door, and locked it behind her. The living room was empty, she smiled.

She walked over to his latest whiteboard and stood in front of it, humming softly, just loud enough for him to hear.

Within seconds he was standing in the hallway looking at her. "What are you doing?" He asked.

His eyes had flickered on the shorts, and he looked vaguely off kilter, she knew what he had been doing, or going to do, what she had interrupted. What perfect timing.

She touched the whiteboard, and licked her lips. "What are you working on?" She asked softly.

He stepped closer, his mouth opening and words coming out that made no sense whatsoever, but she stared at him, fascinated.

She DID like it when he talked sciencey.

He pointed to something on the board, and then paused abruptly. "Wait a minute, why do you care?"

She widened her eyes. "I love it when you go all beautiful mind on me." She stared at him, then turned back to the board, her finger touching where his last had. "What does this symbol mean?"

He explained it, carefully, his eyes watching her, trying to figure out her next move.

She nodded, and moved her finger to another one. "And this one?"

She wasn't pretending her interest, she'd always wanted to ask, it just never seemed the right time, and now...

He sighed and crossed to his desk, booting up the laptop and sitting in the chair, motioning her over. "I'll show you a website which covers basic physics and maths."

She hid her grin. He was now seated, in the perfect position.

Crossing over to him, she put her hand on his shoulder and lent down, her breath hot in his ear, "But wouldn't you rather explain it to me yourself?" She paused for a brief second, "Doctor?"

He was absolutely still, until the chair swung around so he was facing her, his eyes suddenly dark. "Penny?"

She ran her hand down his shirt slowly as she leaned in closer. "Yes Doctor?"

He took a deep breath, and she knew she had him, she sunk to her knees and ran her hands up his thighs.

"Penny, what are you doing?" He asked again, his voice definitely lower.

She leaned forward and pressed her mouth to his knee, then his thigh.

He was very, very still.

His breathing was not.

She looked up at him, as her hands slid up his thighs again, to the button and zipper on his pants. "Tell me about Pi." She whispered.

"3.14" He automatically supplied, his brain sending the rest of the numbers out his mouth but he wasn't really paying attention, as most parts of him were paying far too much attention to Penny, on her knees, in front of him, between his legs (how had she got there?) and his pants being open and her hand on him again, and then her tongue on her lips and then OH DEAR LORD.

After experiencing what he had learned on Google, she'd done a bit of googling herself, just to make sure there wasn't any good tricks she didn't know, and she was now putting what she had learned to good use.

He wasn't in command of his body any more, even his brain, once her tongue touched him, had decided to pay attention. Strict attention. His whole being was focused on feeling, and seeing, the sight in front of him.

Somehow his hand had brushed a strand of hair back from her face, and her eyes had looked up at him, and he'd whispered her name in pure red-blooded baritone Texan, and the noise she had made in her throat had gone straight through him. His eyes had widened, and he'd stiffened, and his hand wanted to both push her away and hold her head down, but then she made the noise again, and it didn't matter, it was all over.

His head was leaned back, and he was staring at the ceiling, not seeing it. The floaty feeling was back.

A hand touched his face, and Penny smiled down at him, she'd stood up, she had licked her lips again, and smiled, thanked him for the informative lesson, and said good night, then whisking herself off to her own apartment, the grin hiding the shakiness of her knees, the lock on her door stopping her from flinging herself back across the hall and into his arms.

For several minutes he just sat there, thinking. He had expected, possibly even hoped for, a bit more of what had happened in the laundry room. This had not been in his realm of possibilities, but she had one upped him good.

Then he turned to Google to find out exactly what had happened and how he could possibly top it.

Or at least get it to happen again.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Just a short one, to set up for the next. Not even in my wild imagination could I get Sheldon to accept the next step lightly.. LOL.**

CH

He couldn't sleep. He was not ready for this. Or he was, but he wasn't prepared. Or maybe he wasn't? Once the floaty feeling had faded away, he had been left staring at his computer screen, in absolute, abject, horror. He couldn't do that!

He had shut down the computer, and paced.

By the time Leonard came home, Sheldon had done thirty-six circuits of the entire living room, and forty-five lengths of the hallway to their bedrooms. He had circulated the kitchen island one hundred and sixty seven times.

His hair was a mess from his hands running through it as he tried to comprehend, how soundly she had beaten him in what had become yet another war between them, for she must know, she was the one with all the experience, that he could not POSSIBLY do THAT!

Every time he came to that undeniable conclusion, he remembered how easily she had taken him in her mouth, how she had swallowed, when the Internet clearly stated there was a second option. It sent a shudder through him, how good it had _felt_, he had never imagined... Her smile, did she think she had won? But she had, because the next step was impossible, unthinkable, he could never, ever, in a million years, consider it, and yet...

And yet every time he thought of it, of what he had seen, his body responded.

His brain was horrified at his bodies blatant betrayal.

It was a problem.

But logically, all problems could be solved.

If they were broken down, into more manageable parts.

He would have to lick her.

But they had not kissed, he had no idea whatsoever of what to do, what she would taste like. He belatedly regretted washing his hands upon his arrival home after the last time.

A memory triggered, and he blushed, knowing he had, out of curiosity, smelled his fingers. The smell was not offensive.

Perhaps he could... But no. What if he attempted, and could not go through with it? She could not win. He would not let her win, what she probably considered an easy victory.

She had tasted him, he would taste her, he would do it!

In small steps.

First, he would kiss her.

To see if he could.

Not her mouth, that would be too much, that would be more of a step two, or step three. He must get a vague idea of what Penny tasted like.

He remembered reading fairy tales to his sister when she was sick, which was far less than he was, but she liked to hear him read about princes in shining armour, who kissed their ladies hands and made them blush profusely...

Her hand.

He would kiss her hand. He would try to do so directly after her washing it of course.

The door opened, and Leonard strode into the room, and the very rumpled Sheldon paused mid pace, sent him an odd look, and then went off to bed.

Leonard wondered what that was about, but decided not to ask.

It was always better not to ask.


	5. Chapter 5

CH

The next night, when Sheldon and Leonard walked into the building, Penny was coming down the stairs. Her hair was wet, she had clearly just gotten out of the shower, and she smiled at them happily. "I'm just off to get the takeout for tonight boys, I hope you're ready to eat?"

Her voice was honey sweet, but the private smile she shot Sheldon definitely wasn't.

"Yeah." Leonard mumbled, starting up the stairs, "I'll go get the plates etc."

Sheldon lagged behind a step or two, steeling himself. When she reached the stair just above him, he paused, grabbed her hand, and pressed his mouth to her palm, his tongue darting out quickly, barely touching her, just a taste.

Her knees buckled, and he looked at her with interest, before carrying on up the stairs without a word.

He had intended to kiss the back of her hand, but her choice of words had changed his mind. He was aware, from his reading, of what a tongue to the palm of a hand could do to a woman. From the look on her face, his reading had been accurate.

He was smiling smugly when he reached the top of the stairs.

"Are you and Penny fighting again?" Leonard asked warily when Sheldon followed him through the door of their apartment.

Sheldon looked surprised. "Why no, why would you think that?"

Leonard shook his head and rolled his eyes. "You didn't even say hello to her!'

"Oh." He thought back, puzzled. "I thought I had."

He ran his tongue around in his mouth, trying to discern a taste, of something, anything, which should not be there.

He couldn't find one.

Drat. He would have to do it again, let his tongue touch longer this time. Perhaps a different location? She was wise to the hand manoeuvre now, but maybe her wrist, or the back of her neck, her shoulder?

His memory supplied him an image of what she was wearing, one of her usual tank tops, and a pair of sweatpants. Both her wrists and her shoulders were exposed.

Her hair was down though, the back of her neck was not an option, unless he first swept the blond strands out of the way? The idea was strangely appealing.

He did not notice the strange glances Leonard kept giving him, as he sat down at his spot, his thinking face on. Once again, he would have to wait for the opportunity, He would take the first one he was given, in case he needed to verify the results. He felt he should be annoyed at this seeming delay, the look on her face, the obvious shifting of her weight, had lit something in his mind which he normally only felt when he got to use the term "I told you so" or its companion "I informed you thusly."

He flicked on the tv and found the show they were to watch that night, and settled in, barely noticing when Koothrapali and Wolowitz barged in arguing about something to do with girls. Their problems were petty compared to his. He had to deal with Penny!

Leonard had also had to deal with Penny, his mind recalled, though Leonard had never been up to the task, and had failed, again and again, and clearly knew nothing about her so was not worthy of consulting. He knew the facial expression "dissatisfaction' well enough, and he'd often recognized it on Penny's face after a drunken night with his roommate. He rolled his eyes at nobody in particular. That whole thing should really not have happened, he had warned them. The geek never got the pretty girl.

Genius's however, were different. They took notes, and prepared, and had much more to prove.

He smelt the food before she opened the door, and sat patiently, waiting.

He ate, everyone ate, it all seemed as was normal. He kept on alert for the proper opportunity, but it didn't come.

Until he was cleaning his plate and she was in front of him, her hair swept to one side, putting her own clean plate back into the cupboard.

He did not think, he merely acted.

His body hid hers from the rest of the room and his hand found her hip, holding her still as his head dipped, and his tongue traced a line along the top of her shoulder, up the bare side of her neck.

He noted that she was frozen, barely breathing, and that her skin was warm, but not hot. She smelled like vanilla oil, and she tasted... He couldn't describe it, so he licked the upper part of her neck again, catching her ear. She tasted good. Just, good.

He straightened, put his plate away, and turned back to the living room to go sit down.

It was then that he realized he forgot one thing.

Three sets of stunned eyes stared at him.

"What?" He asked blankly.

"I think they put something in the food." Howard mumbled. "A hallucinogen."

Raj just blinked, and then smiled.

Sheldon frowned at them both. "Mine tasted just fine. I told you not to order the mu-shoo pork."

Leonard had his head tilted to one side, a confused look on his face. "Did you just.. LICK, Penny?"

"Yes." Sheldon gave him an odd look. "Do you need the prescription on your glasses checked again?"

Penny was still at the counter, facing away from the room, her hands clenched on the edge, trying desperately to stay upright.

First the hand, oh, the tongue on her palm. She'd nearly fallen down the stairs.

Then, his body against hers, his hand on her hip, did he even notice that his middle finger had dipped under her waistband as his tongue had touched her shoulder? His lips? Her neck? Her ear?

Her knees felt like rubber. She felt like sliding to the floor in puddle of Penny, and just staying there, for like, an hour. Dimly she could hear remarks behind her, and belatedly she realized the others had seen.

She smiled to herself, thinking, 'Yes! Witnesses! I am NOT dreaming this!' but then she realized it was not so simple. She listened, hearing more clearly Sheldon's response to Leonard's remark.

"Sheldon. WHY did you lick Penny?" Leonard's voice was slow and quiet.

"To see what she tasted like of course." Was the response.

Penny turned and arched an eyebrow at Leonard, sending him a clear signal.

Leonard opened his mouth, closed it, and then shook his head. "Don't do that in front of me, please?" He finally settled on.

Sheldon considered it, and nodded. "Agreed."

Howard wiggled his eyebrows at them both, "I don't care if you do it in front of me, I'm going to have to see it to believe it anyways."

Sheldon was severely tempted to pull Penny around in front of him and lick her again, but decided however much she seemed to enjoy his previous attempts, she'd probably knee him in the family jewels if he tried that.

A sideways glance at the woman now beside him confirmed the theory.

"I believe it's Halo time." He said instead. "Prepare for imminent death Wolowitz."


	6. Chapter 6

CH

That night, after everyone had gone home, after Leonard had gone to bed, muttering as usual about tomorrow being a better day, Sheldon had stood in front of his board, writing nonsense equations, just to keep his hands busy.

He had licked her palm. Tasted nothing.

He had licked her shoulder, neck and ear, and she had tasted, good, but not really _of_ anything in particular.

He was stumped. He would have to proceed to step three, kissing her directly. On the mouth. How did one go about that?

He'd seen Howard's clumsy efforts with Bernadette, (Really, who HADN'T?) but it hardly seemed proper to giggle shamelessly and then bonk noses and then stick your tongues out and rub them together. Frankly, the thought repulsed him.

He was just going to have to swing it.

With that, he capped his pen, and walked out the door.

~P~

Penny was waiting. She couldn't have gone to sleep if she had tried. She had barely forced herself to sleep last night, with the taste of him on her tongue, his scent ingrained in her brain.

She'd never imagined him licking her palm.

Not her palm, or her shoulder, or... Ok, maybe her neck, because he was so tall, and had that mouth, and she just knew it would feel fantastic, and oh, baby, hypothesis proved, because it HAD.

It had felt _amazing_.

Sink down to the floor and take me NOW amazing.

She wasn't sure what turned her on more? The knowledge that the man who didn't like her touching his food had licked her hand and neck, or that he'd done in front of his friends, seemingly without a care or thought about it.

What did it mean? She knew, with a different person, what the next step in the relationship would be, what the favour-return equivalent was, but this was Sheldon, and it wasn't a relationship.

She paused. Ok, scratch that, it was clearly a relationship. It might be the most twisted, and also the most sane relationship she'd ever been in, but they were in a relationship. He'd licked her neck in front of WOLOWITZ and LEONARD for cryin out loud!

She sat on her couch, deep in thought.

Just how twisted was this man?

She got a partial answer when the door to her apartment suddenly opened, and he walked in, distracted, but clearly seeking her.

Her eyes widened at his rumpled look, and before she blink he was in front of her, her chin inbetween two long fingers, staring into calculating eyes.

"Penny, this is necessary for the continuation of the war. I will not concede defeat so easily." He spoke sharply, and then her mind went blank.

Because his lips were on hers.

Hard, and firm, and yet soft, and parting, her own parted in surprise, and she felt his tongue sweep inside her mouth.

Her eyes were closed now, and her hand was clamped around his wrist, holding him there, her other hand on the back of his neck, kissing him back.

He was clearly tasting her, trying to figure something out, he bit at her lip impatiently when she tried to pull away for a breath, and she surrendered again.

As he leaned into her, she could feel him, and could feel what the kiss was doing with him, but she knew instinctively that whatever he was searching for in her kiss, he wasn't finding, or it wasn't computing.

His words earlier, floated through her mind, "Seeing what she tastes like" and Ohmigod, she knew what he was doing.

He was actually considering... She imagined his tongue doing this elsewhere, and nearly lost it right there, a moan slipping through her mouth into his.

She felt the tiniest smile on his lips as he kissed her again.

Suddenly they both heard Leonard calling Sheldon's name, loudly, and the man in her arms made a noise that sounded like annoyance, because he had not yet finished grabbed his data or whatever, she'd heard the noise before, but he'd been in front of the whiteboard, and scowling.

Abruptly his hand was down, inside her pants, his fingers moving roughly, and she was gasping into his mouth.

Leonard yelled again, and Sheldon's fingers moved faster, his thumb touching that spot he'd found, and suddenly she was shaking in his arms and then he was gone, standing by the door, his eyes closed, clearing his mind, grabbing a magazine from the stack on her table to hold in front of himself, his eyes sending her a silent apology about having to leave, but his mouth smirking, and then his lips twitched and he held his hand up and licked his fingers curiously.

His eyes widened. They were even darker than before, he clearly wasn't done with her yet. He took a step towards her, but then there was another holler, and he sighed and vanished out the door.

Penny stared after him, her mouth agape.

Oh he was some kind of twisted, and she was sure as hell gonna go with it.

Yup.

She'd been waiting her whole life for a man who could spark her like that...


	7. Chapter 7

CH

**AN: I blame this on the weather.. I'm influenced by storms in the worst way...**

Leonard was standing in the middle of the living room, his arms crossed, in his housecoat and pajamas, and those horrible slippers.

"Now that you have woken the entire apartment building," Sheldon said icily, "May I ask why you were bellering my name?"

"Why are you trying to figure out what Penny tastes like?" Leonard narrowed his eyes. He had tried to go to sleep, but the question, and the replay in his mind of what he had seen.. Then discovering the apartment empty, but the door not locked, Sheldon's keys in the bowl... All proof he hadn't gone far. His whiteboard was full of nonsense. Something was going on.

Sheldon's eyebrows raised, but his stance didn't change. "I can't put it much simpler than I already did, Leonard. I wished to know what she tasted like." Then his lips twitched into a smirk. "She tastes good."

"But why do you CARE?" Leonard sputtered.

"I intend to win the war." Was the reply, the speaker having lost interest in the conversation already. "I will make her wear a slave outfit when I win. I will enjoy that."

"I thought you said you wern't fighting?"

Sheldon licked his fingers again curiously. "We're not."

"But war?" Leonard squinted. "And why are you licking your fingers? And why are you holding a Cosmo magazine?"

Sheldon looked surprised. "A what? Oh, how serendipitous."

"Why?" Leonard wailed.

Sheldon had started flipping through the magazine with interest, his eyebrows twitching at some pages and glancing with interest at others. Suddenly, he paused, tilted his head, nodded, and looked thoughtful. "Leonard, are we done here? I was just having the most interesting..."

"Sheldon. Clue me in, ok?" Leonard sighed.

Sheldon nodded. "Ok, let's see, there was.. No, I can't tell you that. And then.. No, I can't say that either." He paused. "I'm afraid I can't tell you."

"You? Keeping secrets?"

"Oh, it's not a secret." Sheldon blinked. "But a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell."

Past the rushing noise in his ears, Leonard heard himself ask "Are you having sex with Penny?"

The noise intensified when he heard the answer.

"Not yet. That is, I believe the intended outcome of the war however, and at the rate of escalation, I surmise..."

The rest was just a blur of mumbo jumbo, until suddenly it was quiet, and the last words filtered through. "You should go to bed, Leonard, you look pale."

~P~

Penny sat, listening. Waiting. For a scream, or a shout, or a nuclear boom. Hearing nothing, she stood and crossed to her doorway, opening the door slightly. Their door was open, she was able to hear better.

"_I intend to win the war_." Sheldon was speaking...

"_I will make her wear a slave outfit when I win. I will enjoy that_."

Oh hell yes. Penny grinned, she would rock a slave outfit. Only she was going to win, so he'd have to wait for that, or maybe it might be a good offensive attack.. Leonard spoke, and she reminded herself to pay attention.

"_I thought you said you wern't fighting?_"

"_We're not_."

"_But war_? _And why are you licking your fingers? And why are you holding a Cosmo magazine?_"

She swallowed. Sheldon was licking his fingers again? Oh dear god in heaven, that boy was going to drive her insane and she was going to love it, my god, why wouldn't Leonard just shut up already, and then Sheldon could come back, because yeah, maybe he'd worked a little magic with his fingers but his eyes had promised so much more and damn it, she hated being held out on. Her eyes narrowed, she listened again.

"_Sheldon. Clue me in, ok?_" Leonard was sighing.

"_Ok, let's see, there was.. No, I can't tell you that. And then.. No, I can't say that either."_ There was a pause. "_I'm afraid I can't tell you_."

Penny smirked.

"_You? Keeping secrets?_" Penny couldn't blame Leonard for sounding incredulous, Sheldon keeping secrets took a pretty big stretch of the imagination.

"_Oh, it's not a secret._" Sheldon replied. "_But a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell._"

Penny's eyebrows nearly hit the roof. Gentleman? Sheldon? Now that she thought of it... How about that? She'd accidentally found a real one! Bonus points!

"_Are you having sex with Penny?_"

She stuck her head right out the door to hear the answer to that.

"_Not yet. That is, I believe the intended outcome of the war however, and at the rate of escalation, I surmise..._"

Penny backed into the apartment, wondering if she should go put on her new t-shirt, which read "Hello Shrody" with a kitty in a box. Sheldon might appreciate the humour. But then, apparently he was more of a slave girl outfit kind of man.

Her lips curled deviously. She was SO going to use it against him. "All's fair in love and war baby." She muttered.

Sheldon spoke from behind her, "I'm glad you feel that way."

She gasped, and turned, he was leaning against her door, with the cosmo open to a certain page, and Penny glimpsed an ad and gasped. She was so in trouble.

"This so-called magazine, has an article, titled "Things that drive you wild but you'd never tell" and I can't help but notice..." His voice had lowered, the texas drawl coming out.

Penny made a grab at the magazine, but he held it up above her head where she couldn't reach it.

Toe to toe, her hands on her hips, she glared at him.

"Number 5," he continued, "I will test. Again." His eyes were narrowed, as he held up his hand again, and stuck a finger in his mouth.

It was one of the fingers... Penny could almost hear her brain sizzling. She was SO ordering a slave outfit first thing in the morning. He was going to pay for this.

Later.

He would pay later.

Because right now his mouth was on her neck again, and somehow they were in her bedroom, and his hands, those gorgeous hands with the long narrow fingers, the piano player hands, were taking off her pants and there were better things to focus on than counter-attack.

Like his mouth going lower.

She had to hand it to him, he did his research thoroughly.

And effectively.

And if she maybe couldn't control herself and gave him a freebie later, just to take the edge off, that would be within war rules, right?

If it wasn't, he certainly didn't mention it.


	8. Chapter 8

CH

Sheldon had been in a remarkably good mood the last few days, he had even noticed it, which was rare. All of his cereal choices had been from the low end of the fiber spectrum, and he'd even held his tongue when Leonard stumbled in drunk and collapsed in his spot.

Within a few minutes Leonard had leapt up and ran for the bathroom, as he often did, after these nights out with the guys. A cursory inspection of the cushion had proved no harm done, and Sheldon had shrugged off the whole incident. Magnanimous of him, he knew. No doubt Leonard wouldn't thank him, but perhaps he might drive him to the comic book store the next day, after the hangover had ceased.

He also knew the reason behind his long-lived good mood. He had almost certainly won the war. His last offensive attack had gone well, better than planned even, with the happy result of succeeding in BOTH of his stated ambitions.

He was beginning to understand Wolowitz's preoccupation with the opposite sex. How fortunate that he had not Penny until after he had achieved his two doctorates, otherwise he might have ended up as merely an experimental physicist. If he had not, just this very second, sent off the conclusions of his latest theories to be published, ground breaking work, if he did say so himself, he might have been worried about her interfering with his quest for the Nobel. If anything, she had driven him to complete his work all the faster, because he never knew when she might come storming in with her newest attack, and needed to have enough variable time slots in his schedule to allow for shifting things around.

It had been a week since their last skirmish, and part of him was rejoicing because perhaps, he had won. Perhaps she would concede defeat at any point in time... The other half was wary. Penny had more experience, and the time delay might well be part of her attack. His body had certainly been making itself known the last few mornings, perhaps her devious plan was to reduce him to a creature directed primary by its hormones.

Sheldon twitched his hands together involuntarily. She did have that streak of what could only be described as evil villainous. It was why she was so good at Halo, and why she had become addicted to the Age of Conan. Penny liked power.

He must make sure to never leave his chemicals unlocked. The last thing the world needed was a Penny with REAL super powers.

He shifted his weight nervously, biting his lip. Perhaps he should go over there, and just see how she was doing. It couldn't hurt, and possibly might induce her to proclaim her defeat. Nodding decisively, he crossed the hall.

~P~

Penny had been waiting for this. She had had to wait nearly the whole week for her costume to arrive. She had been amazed at the vast amount of star wars and star trek "slave" outfits there were, each a different style, it had taken an hour to choose which one she felt he would most appreciate, in the end she ended up choosing one that was said to be in the style of the Vulcans. She hoped it was accurate, cause god help her if it wasn't. Her plan on it's own was going to be enough to freak him out, severely.

Oh yes, he had upped the ante and surprised her by going down on her, but she had no idea how he was going to take the next step. And she may have rearranged the steps a bit, just to add the element of surprise as well. She just hoped she could go through with it, because well, she'd never really actually DONE this step herself. Usually just the mention of it would be enough to drive her boyfriends wild, but then, she'd already slept with them. With Sheldon, it was different.

And she had realized, that it really mattered. To her. She really wanted this to work, she really wanted to win. Not just to win, but because when she won, Sheldon would be her boyfriend. For real. When she won, he was going to take her to work, and show her around, and then to a museum, and fancy dinner, and when he proposed it was going to be in front of the Hadron Collider, in Switzerland, on their one year anniversary.

Oh, yes. Penny was playing for keeps.

And it scared the hell out of her.

But she was nothing if not a warrior, and once committed to something, she never, ever gave up.

~S~

He debated knocking on her door, but decided the element of surprise was necessary, and instead tried the doorknob. It turned easily, and he stepped into her apartment. There was the usual amount of disarray, and he tsked, shaking his head at the clutter. If only she would follow the diagram he'd given her...

There was a noise from her bedroom, and he turned to face the door, and froze.

~P~

The look on his face... Was inspiring. It was sheer luck that he had wandered in when he had. She had been arranging things, doing a dress run of sorts, she was in the outfit and had everything she was going to need on the bed behind her. She'd heard his tsk, and the smile that was on her lips when she stepped into the living room to confront him was pure Penny.

He appeared to be frozen, until she noticed him taking his pulse.

"Arn't you coming in?" She blinked up at him, stepping back into her room.

His feet followed her in, he wasn't even sure how he'd got there, because his eyes were locked onto her outfit, there wasn't much of it, but it was undeniably what the Vulcan's dressed their slaves in.

He was talking to her, but she put a stop to that when she pushed him down on the bed and pressed her mouth to his. His fingers started walking up her thighs, but she pushed his hands away, and slid her own hands down his chest.

"You can look, but you can't touch." She whispered in his ear, careful to catch the tip of it with her tongue.

"Why not?" He whispered back, trying very hard not to touch her.

"Because I'm going to seduce you. If you touch me, I win." She breathed against his neck.

He stuttered. "But that's hardly fair Penny, I am not prepared for a final battle between us, will you win the entire war or just this round?"

She just smiled mysteriously, and sat back, just out of his reach. She was nervous now, but she didn't show it. She started by touching herself, her arms, her knees, then pulling her hands up to run along the seems of the barely there top, her gaze on him the whole time.

His cheeks were getting flushed, she knew that look, his eyes were darkening, and as her hands slid down her waist and to the spot his fingers knew intimately she could see the effect her movements were having on him.

He kept having to remind himself, don't touch. Don't Touch.

She had her head thrown back and her fingers were doing things to herself, that he felt his fingers should be doing, after all, his fingers were longer than hers, and...

She reached for something, and he dimly knew what it was, what it was for, there was this weird sound in his ears, and he was sure his temperature had raised several degrees, and if she put that where he thought... She couldn't do that, she couldn't, he would be better, he wanted...

She did.

The looks he was giving her, the way his fingers were twitching, she was really getting into it, because it was effecting him even better than she had hoped. It felt really good, and she gasped, she wanted it to be him, she wanted to be straddling him and not some purple piece of rubber, but she had to know what this was to him, was he here because he couldn't stand to loose a war, or was the war a convenient excuse to him, a way to explore the sexual side to their relationship, the one that simmered during their arguments and sparked in daring glares across the room. How many times had she wished he would just do away with strikes and just have her against the wall...

She moaned, thinking about it, him, taking her, against the wall, anywhere. Punishment for sitting in his spot, sex behind the couch, oh god...

His mouth was dry and his mind was still, his focus complete. She was beautiful. She was more than he'd ever thought possible, ever dreamed could exist. He was watching her please herself, and he couldn't touch, but he knew, oh he just knew, that he could do it better. She had yet to make that little noise, he wanted to hear it, and she was biting her lip, and her hand was moving, the purple thing was wet but the look on her face was changing to one of frustration, it wasn't enough.

He didn't remember giving in. He just knew that the second he entered her, he had felt alive, and her legs had wrapped around his back, and within seconds she was making that noise, and her hands were tearing off his shirts, her feet pushing his pants down farther, he didn't care, they couldn't take the time, he needed to prove that he was better than some stupid piece of rubber and something in his brain had switched, he wanted to possess her, like knowledge, and she was egging him on, calling his name, and he hadn't even bothered to take off her outfit either, he didn't care.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Short chapter, setting up for the next! Also, I hope you'll check out a collaboration effort between Medusa20 and I entitled 'The Shoe App Continuation'.**

CH

Sheldon didn't return home that night. He didn't see why he should, since he had a lot of lost time to make up for, and he had no pressing work to occupy his mind, he set it to sweetly torturing Penny for making him lose control.

She didn't seem to mind.

When he finally returned home, the next morning, he met Leonard in the living room.

"How is your hangover?" Sheldon enquired politely.

Leonard squinted at him. "Weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday?" He rubbed his head tiredly.

"Yes. I believe I am experiencing the "walk of shame" he made quotations with his hands. "Though I don't feel the least bit of shame, although when my mother finds out, I think she will insist I accompany her to church, although after the last time that happened, I don't think it will be HER church, as I was unceremoniously kicked out, which I thought very rude, just because I inferred that the God particle was not in fact created by God, but by ..."

"Sheldon, shut up." Leonard sighed.

"Okay."

"Are you going in to work today?" Leonard asked warily.

"mmm, yes." Sheldon decided. He was still unsure as to whether Penny had won the entire war or just that battle, and he had more whiteboards at work than he did at home. The calculations might be endless.

"Then go change. And shower. You smell like Vanilla."

"I do? Interesting..."

The ride to work had been silent, due to the enormity of Leonard's hangover, and the thoughts running through Sheldon's mind.

How to up that? Was it possible? Maybe he should have stayed at home, the university frowned at using the computers for sexual purposes, and Wolowitz had exhausted the excuse of 'research'. He had a great deal of data stored in his mind, but he wasn't sure now to what use he could put it to. He had wanted to win, to see her in a slave outfit. She had already worn one, now what would he make her do when he won.

Marry him.

Sheldon blinked. His eyebrow quirked. He looked thoughtful. That could be acceptable punishment for initiating a war that she could not win. It would also get him out of trouble with his mother should the need arise. It might be a bit excessive though. He would have to share a bedroom. And a bed. He frowned.

But that would be beneficial on those mornings when biology demanded to be heard. He shook his head to clear it. He was playing with folly, which would surely cause him to lose. She had won the battle, but the war would continue.

He must focus on the next step.

She had made him lose control, he must make her do the same. But more. How to do that? He doubted self-servicing himself in front of her would have the same reaction as she had had on him, men were more visual, an inherent flaw in the design, he knew, and if he believed in his mother's god, he would have sent a very direct prayer up pointing this out, along with the obvious mistake of male reproductive organs on the outside of the body.

He found his office without really realizing he had got out of the car, and set to work, writing in his secret code the possibilities and their probable outcomes.

There was a study, in which it was found that in watching sexual movies, (AKA porn) women were far more easier to arouse than males. It should be fairly simple to drive her past her ability to control herself, after all, Penny had remarkably little self control in many things, like shopping for shoes, and punching people who woke her before eleven am.

But by eleven am, he was truly stumped.

By noon, he was sleeping behind his desk.

When he woke up, he was smiling. Penny, liked to be bad. Or to think she was doing something naughty. Like the slave outfit.

All he had to do, was put her in a situation, where she would want to be bad. She liked to call him doctor. She loved the equations he wrote down on his whiteboards though she had no understanding of them. The probability was great that at one point in her life, she had had a crush on a teacher. He would use it against her.

He would bring her to work.


	10. Chapter 10

CH

When Penny walked into the boys apartment that night, she knew it wasn't over. She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at him. He was standing at his whiteboard, wearing only one shirt, with the sleeves rolled up and a hand in one pocket, he other lazily writing something unreadable on the board.

Two friends and one close acquaintance were in the living room watching him warily.

"Hey guys." Penny smiled. "Whats up?"

"Ah, Penny!" Sheldon turned and looked at her with a smirk of a smile. "There you are, I find I need your help with an experiment."

She raised her eyebrows. "Okay?"

He put his hands together behind his back and rocked forward onto his toes slightly. "It might be dangerous, with horrible consequences should it go wrong, or worse, we get caught."

"Caught doing what?" She asked suddenly as wary as the other occupants of the room.

"The experiment." He said simply.

She looked at him. He looked normal, except for the one shirt thing, and the little hickey right on the bottom of his neck, and the look in his eyes which he usually only wore when issuing a challenge. She looked at the others in the room.

Leonard looked resigned, like it had become inevitable that Sheldon would rule the world someday soon. Howard looked slightly amazed, and slightly terrified, she noted his eyes appeared to be locked on the hickey, and the understood that one. Raj was twitching his eyes back forth between them with a look on his face like he really, really wanted to know what was going on, but that he'd forgotten to re-stock his survival bag and was suddenly regretted it.

"Does it involve the end of the world?" She asked.

Sheldon inclined his head slightly. "A valid question. Not the end of the planet certainly, though possibly the end of the world as we know it."

"Will it win a Nobel Prize?"

"No." Sheldon almost smiled. If only winning Nobel's were so easy.

"Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"Just that should you agree, you will be required to accompany me to work tomorrow." He raised his eyebrows.

She nodded. Well, that would take one thing off her list. "Okay sure." She shrugged. "Why not?"

"Why not!" Howard squeaked. "He could be asking you to help him prove a radio active experiment!"

"Well, I guess if it goes wrong, we'll both be super heroes then." She replied, taking her usual seat and reaching for some food.

"Villains." Sheldon corrected. "Heroes don't bite."

She shot him a look. "Heroes peek though."

"Mwah ha ha."

Raj ran for the bathroom.

The next morning, Sheldon dressed carefully.

The black pants from the suit Penny had picked out for him. An orange shirt, with his red flash t-shirt on top. He'd read a new study which proved that women were attracted to men wearing red. It was an Alpha colour.

Take that Superman, he snickered to himself.

He had thought of wearing a tie, but didn't want to attract too much attention to his change of casual attire, it might bring upon them even more attention than just Penny beside him would.

He wouldn't be surprised if Gablehouser himself dropped in. His casual remarks about experiments tending to go horribly wrong had probably been enough for Koothrapali and Wolowitz to give him a wide berth though, and Leonard certainly wouldn't intervene, he'd just gotten a new lab assistant who had already mis-aimed a laser and blew a hole through the door.

He smiled. He was going to win.

Casually, he walked Penny through the building, he was glad to see that she had worn a skirt, trying to look professional probably, he didn't know, it didn't really matter, though it would make it slightly easier for him once she caved. He pointed out people, introduced her to those she hadn't met, and guided her towards his office. He had spent the rest of the previous afternoon prepping. The whiteboards were all covered in writing, except one.

He ushered her in, a smirk on his lips as he shut the door with a bang.

"So." She licked her lips. "Whats the big experiment?"

"It's already begun." He gestured to the other boards. "Now, if you could grab that pen," he pointed to one on his desk, and start writing out that formula on that board there, I will prepare the rest."

Penny nodded and did as he asked. She wanted to ask questions, but she felt strange, he was so obviously a figure in charge here, students had run from him and flushed when he congratulated them on not failing his latest test, and his fellow doctors had all acknowledged him, though some with puzzled glances at her, and others with a wary glance that showed they had been bested by his mind before and no desire to match wits with him again. The only ones dumb enough to do that appeared to be the Leslie girl that Leonard and Howard had dated, and the one with the speech impediment.

This must be really important stuff. He was a big shot in the world of physics, and she'd had him calling her name just the other night, touching what he wasn't supposed to touch.

She was so glad he'd caved.

She was certain that this would be some kind of attack though.

He pressed his mouth to her ear suddenly and she gave a jump. "Don't stop writing." He said clearly.

|"Okay?" Her eyes widened, and she forced her pen to keep moving. His hands were on her hips, but sliding up over her stomach, cupping her breasts and copping a feel. She paused and shut her eyes, and he quickly stepped away from her.

"Don't stop writing."

Oh dear god. This was his workplace. He was going to make her.. No.

She kept writing. His hands were back.

On her hips.

Under her skirt.

Trailing against her skin as he pressed against her, and let his lips travel down the back of her neck.

She kept writing, though she couldn't read what she was writing anymore, and she knew without a doubt that her cheeks were probably pure red.

There was a knock at the door, and Sheldon quickly sat down at his desk before calling for the person to enter.

"Dr. Cooper." The man said, giving Penny an appraising glance before turning raised eyebrows on Sheldon who appeared to be calmly doing calculations at his desk.

"Dr. Gablehouser." Sheldon replied. "What do you want?"

"I heard you had an attractive assistant today, I wanted to see for myself."

"Of course." Sheldon sighed. "Penny, this is Dr. Gablehouser, Dr. Gablehouser, this is my, " he paused. "Girlfriend, Penny."

Penny smiled. Mission successful!

"Don't stop writing Penny." Sheldon reminded her, his voice flat, with a slight twang. She swallowed and continued copying out the horrendously long equation on the paper. She wasn't even sure it was all going to fit on the board, and the board was the size of her car windshield. She knew this was turning him on, it had to be, being able to touch her, while she couldn't touch him, the twang had suggested he was hiding a huge biological response behind his desk, or rather under it, and suddenly she wished that's where she was too.

She glanced at his desk quickly and noticed it wasn't the kind that went all the way to the floor, damn.

She kept writing.

As soon as Gablehouser was gone, Sheldon was back behind her, his fingers running over her body, then into it.

"Penny, what was that name you called me when you caught me by surprise on my desk chair?"

"Doctor." She whispered, leaning back into him, barely able to grasp the pen and hold it to the board. His fingers kept bringing her close, and the pulling away. He was driving her nuts.

She could feel him, pressing up against her, even as he whispered again, to not stop writing. His fingers worked her, and she thought she heard a rumble from his throat, and suddenly, she had had enough.

She turned around, pushed him up against his desk, till he was sitting on it, and then she climbed on top of him and within seconds had him deep inside her.

"Ohmygod." She whispered. "Sheldon, I'm... On your desk." She kept moving though.

"I know." He whispered. "If we get caught..."

She groaned and moved faster, harder, there was no way she could stop now. "Will you loose your job?"

He snorted. "Hardly. I'll probably get a phone call home to my mother though, Gablehouser has her number I believe."

Penny groaned against his throat, not stopping. "Your mom will freak."

Suddenly, he flipped her over, and was moving on top of her. "I know." he whispered. "She might make you marry me."

She didn't appear to mind, but then she was making that noise again. Just to make sure he won, he had her again, up against the door.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Second to last chapter people! **

CH

Sheldon in control had her going crazy.

She knew it. He knew it. And she didn't know if it was hot as hell that he knew it, or annoying as heck. Sometimes, with Sheldon, it was hard to tell the difference.

Most of the time, as long as he was hard, she didn't really care.

But it was time to get a hold of herself. It was time to bring Queen Penelope on board. No more of this, under Sheldons power stuff. At least not until she'd had him under hers again, and then hey, thats how war works right? Back and forth? She wasn't really sure about that either.

But how to get him back?

She couldn't give him a blowjob in the car, because well, she would be driving, and while enough teasing of one might get him driving, if she actually went through with it they really would both die in a fiery car crash.

It had to be something... Unexpected.

Queen Penelope wanted to tie him to a chair.

Which brought a smile to Penny's face.

The Bus.

Oh yes. She would.

And so it happened that she locked her keys in the car, and they had to take the bus somewhere the very next day.

It was drizzling, so Penny had her trench coat with her.

Sheldon, of course, was wearing two pairs of pants. This would make her job harder, and also easier at the same time. Two pairs to unzip, but more fabric to hide her hands actions.

She made him sit at the back. He wasn't happy about this.

She pretended to be cold, and covered herself in her trench coat. He complained about the heating.

He didn't stop complaining, until she took his hand, and pulled it under the coat, to rest on her naked thigh.

"Penny!"

She smiled, and spread her coat over his lap. "Yes dear?"

"What are you... OH." He said suddenly, as her hand caressed his croch. "Really Penny? Now? Here?"

"Shhh." She moved her hand, one zipper, two zippers, there was no on around and he was already getting hard, she stroked him gently.

For the first time in the history of Sheldon on Buses, he was quiet. His hand slid up her thigh more, his fingers searching, finding, dipping..

She leaned over and whispered into his ear. "You have to make me come before we get there. Or you'll not come either."

He swallowed.

Another challenge.

"Very well then." He set to work.

She grinned.

His fingers were working, and his lips were on her neck.

He really did have such marvellous fingers.

Her hand started stroking him again.

They were almost to their destination when he suddenly seemed to snap, and pulled her back, onto his lap, putting himself in her.

She bit back her gasp with a smirk. "Who's in charge now?" She whispered, grinding her hips back onto him.

It was then he realized his position. He couldn't thrust without it being obvious. Penny was the only one who could move without causing suspicion. "Damn it." He hissed. "Penny, please?" She moved again and his fingers were digging into her thighs. He could see their stop up ahead, and he was in no way ready to get off the bus. Suddenly, she moved without moving.

His eyes glazed.

She was doing... Oh.. what were they called? Those exercises... He couldn't think. He pressed his thumb against her, and finally, that little noise..

And then she was convulsing inside and he lost it. He had to bite her shoulder to keep from making a sound.

She picked herself up off his lap, adjusting her coat, and he quickly zipped his two pairs of pants.

"Ready Sheldon?" She smiled down at him. "We're here!"

He could not believe she had got him to do THAT on a BUS.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Yes, this is the end. I hope you all like it, and I thank you for reading it!**

CH

Sheldon knew what he had to do.

He knocked on Penny's door. Nine knocks, three Pennys. He waited. She opened the door and smiled.

"Hi honey. Wanna go for a bus ride?"

His eyebrows twitched as he thought about it. "Maybe later. We have something to discuss."

"Oh?" Penny held the door open and allowed him to enter. "What should we discuss?"

"After careful consideration, I have decided that to save both our jobs and to avoid getting criminal records, we should cease the war. I propose we do so by Peace Treaty."

Penny narrowed her eyes.

Sheldon swallowed. "In exchange for you continuing to be my girlfriend, I will allow you unrestricted access to my room."

Penny raised her eyebrows. "Let me get a pen and paper, you're going to want to write all this down. And sign it." She added. He wasn't wigglin out of this treaty, never mind the fact that becoming his girlfriend was kinda the goal all along.

He nodded and wrote down his request on the paper.

"I have some terms too." Penny said. "In exchange for unrestricted lunch time and after hours access to your office, I will wear the slave costume once monthly."

"Twice." He countered.

"Deal." She nodded, and he wrote down her terms.

"Sex in the laundry room is to be restricted to times when either of our abodes is occupied by friends and/or relatives." He stated.

"All kinds of sex?" She questioned.

He blinked. An image of Penny on her knees floated through his mind. "No."

"Agreed." Penny smiled. "But I still reserve the right to do with you as I will in your bedroom even when others are in the apartment."

He thought of all the times Raj had made out with women in the living room chair, all the times Leonard had broken the 72 hour advance notice rule...

"Agreed."

With a flourish, they both signed their names on the bottom of the piece of paper.

"You know, if you learned to drive, I'd be able to give you a blowjob while you were driving." Penny murmured.

He raised an eyebrow. "Does driving a simulator count?"

"I'll think about it." Penny promised.

"You know," Sheldon copied her pattern of speech, "If you got your engine checked, I might be persuaded to..." He held up three fingers and smiled.

"While I'm driving?"

"Stuck in traffic?" He offered a compromise.

She raised her eyebrows. "I'll call a garage first thing in the morning."

He smiled. "We'll need another copy of this, and perhaps we should laminate it."

"You have a machine for that right?"

"Of course!"

When they entered the apartment across the hall, silence fell. Three pairs of eyes stared at them tentatively.

"Whatcha doin?" Leonard said carefully, his voice a trifle high pitched.

"Making a copy and laminating this." Sheldon replied, waving the paper in his direction.

"What's "This"" Howard asked warily.

"A peace treaty." Penny smiled.

"So, the war's over?" Leonard smiled.

"Yes, we thought it best to end it before we wound up in jail." Sheldon said.

"Or jobless." Penny added.

"So does that mean, you two are, over?" Howard and Raj both leaned forward to hear the answer.

"God no." Sheldon exclaimed. "It merely means that we now have accepted guidelines and rules and no longer have to try to out-do each other at every turn."

Raj whispered in Howard's ear. "Yeah, I don't get it either." Howard replied.

"It means knock on closed doors." Penny smirked. "Speaking of which, I think I'd like to go look at your room now." She smiled up at Sheldon.

He looked startled. "Why?" When her eyebrow twitched, his eyes widened, and he nodded. "Ah, yes, well. Goodnight Friends and valued acquaintance."

Penny grinned as she pulled him into his room. "Lets put on some music and lock the door."

"Ok." He did as she asked and then turned to find her sitting on his bed provocatively, smiling at him.

"Oh look." She whispered innocently, "We haven't done it HERE yet."


End file.
